Thursday May,10

Sometimes in parenting a situation occurs when you aren't sure what to do. I know the choices I make for my little boy are going to make a difference in his entire life. That's a little frightening. Am I qualified to make those decisions? Sometimes, you just throw caution into the wind..make the choice and then close your eyes real tight and pray real loud that it works out!
This was one of those situations...
Grandma passed away last weekend and we just returned from her funeral/visitations. Since our little boy is only 3 1/2 we weren't entirely sure we should take him to the funeral home for the visitation or even to the funeral. What if he was confused? Would it scare him? Is he just a bit to young to deal with this? Those are the questions we asked ourselves over and over. We turned to friends, family members and really went back and forth with what to do. My first reaction was"he's WAY to young"...then I thought about it more. While we loved Grandma with all of our hearts, and will completely miss her, she was Daniel's Great-Grandmother. He visited her a few times, but due to her health, she was unable to be extremely involved in his life. Was now our chance to introduce him to a funeral? Was it better to go through the process now before it was a Grandma, a Papa, or even just a friend?
So...On Tuesday morning on our way to Midland for the visitation, we explained to Daniel that Great Grandma died and went to live with Jesus. Daniel's only experience with death has been our cat Jefferson. (Jefferson was hit by a car back in November, we had a funeral out back as we buried him in the ground) We explained to Daniel that Great Grandma died and now lives with Jesus and Jefferson. Of course the first question that came was "did she get hit by a car too?"
Nope..she didn't get hit by a car....We told Daniel that we go to the funeral/visitation so we can say good-bye to Great Grandma and tell her we love her one more time.
We arrived at the funeral home early, since we have a small family, we were able to be there for a while before alot of people showed up, just in case the kids needed a few minutes. We got up to the casket and tell him he can ask any question he wants. He checked her out, looked at her pretty flowers, and really just soaked it in, at that time, he didn't have much to say..After he was done checking her out, he went to play in the corner with his cousins. We let them play trucks while we chatted with people who came in to pay their respects. Every once in a while, they'd both stop playing trucks, walk up and check her out(not sure if they were checking to see if she was still there or not) But then they'd go back to playing tucks again. You could hear the boys talking about her, they'd touch her dress, or the casket, or just look...Of course as 3-4 year old boys, they thought they wanted to hang off the rails on the side of the casket(we decided that wasn't such a great idea..) Overall, I think we made a wise choice by taking him with us. I'm sure a million people have their own opinion about what we did. This is really the toughest job in the world. I really have no idea what I'm doing, I just take it day by day. There was no book to find the answer in!We did answer a lot of questions...Not just at the funeral home, but throughout the 2 days. We tried to be as open and honest without giving to much information. We didn't want to overwhelm him either.
Here are just a few that I thought were priceless....
"Look Mommy, her eyes aren't open" Nope, they aren't open..
"Will she say I love you too when I tell her I love her?" ..No, but she can hear you, so you can talk to her whenever you want.
"If she lives with Jesus, why is her body here?" Because Daniel, Jesus took her heart, she gets a new body once she gets to heaven..
"Is she sad because shes not with us anymore?" Nope, she'll get to see Jesus and Jefferson, but also Great Grandpa will be there and so will Uncle Dan. They can't wait to see her! and someday, we'll see her again.
"When we get to the mecentary(cemetery) to put her in the ground, will there be diggers there?" No Daniel..I think the diggers will be gone before we get there.

My favorite comment from my sweet, sweet boy...
"Mommy, they put her in a GIANT treasure chest..."
You're right Daniel...She is in a Giant treasure chest...